Next Movie Casts Twilight Remake with Celebrity Children!
This is freaking hysterical!
As Twihards gear up for “Breaking Dawn – Part 2,” the finale to “The Twilight Saga,” it’s difficult to imagine life without another installment of the Bella, Edward and Jacob love triangle on the horizon. What do we do to cope with the loss?
I’m sure some fans will try to go cold turkey — ripping down all their Team Edward posters and boxing up their sparkly vampire memorabilia — like some girls do trying to forget a painful ex-lover. Some will live in the past, like a former high school quarterback, insisting that the glory days are still here and any day now a new “Twilight” book will magically appear on bookstore shelves. Others will move on completely, taking the “best way to get over someone is to get under someone else” approach. Except that “someone” will be another YA series like “Mortal Instruments” or “Maximum Ride” and, like a rebound relationship, that won’t work out in the end. As I’ve successfully argued before, nothing is the next “Twilight.”
The healthy Twihards will do what I’m doing, stay positive, look to the future and focus on the reboot. I learned this approach from being an Arizona sports fan. While things are often dark during the season, I can always remain hopeful that the next crop of young athletes will raise the bar. That’s why I’m already filling out my fantasy cast for the remake of “Twilight.” This will shock some of you. That’s like trying to remake “Star Wars” or The Bible. However, you know it’s going to happen in 10 years or so. You may as well look forward to getting your children or grandchildren (you’ll be Twilight Grandmas by then, Twilight Moms) hooked. As for me, I’ve already picked out one of my nephews to write the next decade’s “Confessions of a Male Twilhard.” His name is Finn McKee and as you can tell by the corresponding photo, he’s already learning to fear the outdoors so he’ll be perfect for staying indoors to write columns about the following cast.
Head over to Next Movie to see who made the cut!
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